CALLING ALL SHAPESHIFTERS

So here is something. I've just written a book on the Medicine Wheel, and I'm in the middle of writing a book on Astrology. They are both things I've thought about and written about for years, though as books they have come as a surprise to me in the last few months. It has all seemed to be there, waiting to be written. But it is fresh, I am writing as if for the first time.

And then there is this other thing. This animal presence within me, she is visceral, she snarls, she has wolf form at the moment. She has natural and spontaneous vitality. She can do magic. And she is not in either of those books. She has been around for over 20 years, usually as a Bear, and was good at doing healing work, soul retrievals and all the rest, could really shunt the energy around. She takes no prisoners, is ruthless in the service of healing, and her ferocity got dogs in the vicinity barking at her.

But then she didn't want to do that any more, and that was 15 years ago. This enormous, vital presence in me, this protector that you hold outside of your regular interactions with people, that would probably get you medicated if you displayed it in the street. Yet which is entirely natural.

We fear that which is natural, in exactly the same way that the medieval Church proscribed dancing within its precincts. That which is truly of nature cannot be controlled, the certainties we like to live by are not respected. Have you ever gone out of control in a trance dance? It is like that, yet having that fierce presence always with you. I love it.

So what am I to do with her? All these years? She does not want to be a 'shamanic healer', not very much anyway. Why should there be anything to 'do' with her, that is just our way of thinking? Certainly she does not want to be talked about too much, but I feel I can do so here. I am feeling she wants to be written into a fantasy novel, to give expression to her vitality and fierceness that way.That will be a challenge for me, it is not 'all there' to be written down. Maybe I will do this, maybe I won't. There are fairy tales to be imbibed first, and I will have to teach myself to write fiction. I hope she will forgive the image above :)