A NAVAJO GUIDE TO FINDING TRUE LOVE

Hosteen Begay didn't know how old he was exactly, but his memories stretched back at least 83 years, and he could easily have been 90. I asked his advice about a woman I had been dating. I wanted a companion badly. He put on his glasses and stared me directly in the eyes. Then he smiled and laughed. My ears turned red and my face flushed. "It must be the bellagana in you", Hosteen said, still laughing, but not without compassion. 'Bellagana' means 'white person' in the Dineh language. "Because I doubt you will listen to me. You must stop looking for love. When the spirits want you to have love, they will bring it to you. You must devote your life to your work and children. And though it won’t win them back, it will bring you peace within yourself. Shake my hand so I can feel your resolve.” 

He stood up and took my hand in his. We did not really shake, but rather he held on to my hand and studied me carefully. “You will not change. For all the other things you have learned, this is the one area where you prefer to remain stupid.”

“But Grandfather”, I said, “I need a companion, a half-side.”
Finally Hosteen Begay let go of my hand. He took off his glasses. “You have watched too many of those Hollywood movies, the kind my granddaughter acts in.” To him the matter was closed. But I needed to hear more. “Is it not right that a man and a woman come together in this way? Is this not what the elders teach us in the ancient stories and songs?”

“Only young men speak so stupidly and without wisdom.” He smiled at me gently. “Do not even bother to answer me,” he said. “I will be gone soon, before you see the wisdom of my words. You will keep trying to find this thing you call love, like a crazy teenager, until it bites you in the ass. Then maybe you will grow up.”

Coyote Medicine by Lewis Mehl-Medrona p227-8