I find this interesting,that some Buddhist teachers are starting to use ayahuasca in conjunction with meditation. When I was 20, I took psilocybin mushrooms many times over a period of a few months, and it opened me up in a permanent kind of way. I've never felt strongly drawn to take 'psychedelics' again, for me it was job done, though I did take ayahuasca a couple of times in Peru. 

After that I did many years of Buddhist meditation, and what I both experienced and have observed is that there are visceral levels of transformation that do not seem to be touched with a lot of meditators. It remains a bit cerebral, and my response is to want to boil them in a sweat lodge :) Indeed, it was what drove me to Shamanism. And I think these psychedelics can touch those deeper levels as well. So I think the Buddhist teachers are onto something.

--------------------

I offer skype/FB video astrology readings, by donation. Contact: BWGoddard1 (at)aol.co.uk

---------------------

NB Please note the Free Email Subscribe button, top right of the page 😼

On Having the Goods

There is a guy who puts a lot of time and energy on Facebook into 'correcting' people's notions of what Shamanism is and isn't. And he pronounces from a lofty platform of self-appointed authority. He once said in a group I run (UK Shamanic Community) that it is only in the indigenous setting that you find real power in shamanic work, and that what we do is tiddly by comparison. 

In response, I was filled with a wrathful spirit presence, of the kind that turns up when there is some particularly hefty and nasty energy to shift. It would have torn this guy's head off - energetically speaking, of course  

So there was the answer. We DO have the goods, we musn't allow ourselves to be disempowered by this kind of statement. I say this with a reservation, because I think there can be superficialities to the way we do things - that is another post. But the point is, we are human and that power is present, it is all around us and wants to be of help.

DEALING WITH OUR DEMONS: A SHAMANIC PERSPECTIVE

I normally like to watch something while I have my dinner. This evening I listened to something - 'In the Psychiatrist's Chair'' from 1985, in which RD Laing was interviewed. The guy was in his late 50s at the time, and despite being something of a groundbreaking psychiatrist, he still suffered from heavy depression, such that he could hardly move sometimes, and he drank a lot. He was very open about this. And he described the depression as something meaningless that came upon him, and he saw the same pattern in his father and grandfather, in all of whom it started around mid-life. But that was that. It just seemed to be this meaningless and unfortunate phenomenon that it was his lot to deal with. He did feel, though, that it would be ungrateful to the powers-that-be were he to just end it all.

And I thought that isn't how I see my 'demons'. Not that I have suffered to the same extent that RD Laing has, so it may not be comparable. But since I can remember it has been like there has been a big hole in me, that expresses itself as bleakness and anxiety and fear and pointlessness. And it gets hold of me in unfamiliar situations where I don't know anyone, or when I have a practical difficulty to deal with.

And it wasn't until my mid-50s that I began to get a proper handle on it. Before that, it was only partly conscious, and in the driving seat more than I would have wanted. So a proper demon pursuing me! And I've done the usual thing of trying to psychoanalyse it, and I don't know how much truth there is in that. And I've looked at it ancestrally, and there may be something in that.

But really it wasn't until I started to relate to my demon as a spirit with whom I could be in sympathetic relationship that it started to sort. That began by relating to it as a young child, or as a series of them, and holding their hands and re-assuring them. That worked, but it also has an early childhood-psychoanalytic implication to it. I think that has truth, but is also reductive.

And really all I can say is that it is a spirit, and where it comes from is a mystery, but it is associated with me, so I'd better be in relationship with it. And it feels deeply personal, and it may have an ancestral aspect, and I wouldn't want someone trying to soul-retrieve it away. There is a lot in it, and I love what was my demon, who still gives me grief.

And with the spirit perspective that Shamanism gives me, I would never say that my suffering was meaningless, as RD Laing seemed to conclude about his own. There is always something in it if we learn to listen, there is probably something very big in it. And it will probably take years and years, and we will change profoundly along the way.

Incidentally, there was a good film that came out last year, Mad To Be Normal, with David Tennant playing RD Laing.

--------------------

I offer skype/FB video astrology readings, by donation. Contact: BWGoddard1 (at)aol.co.uk

---------------------

NB Please note the Free Email Subscribe button, top right of the page 😼

Cosmic Consciousness and Multiple Personality Disorder

I like the idea in in this piece that cosmic consciousness is everything, and that our experience of separateness occurs because we have become dissociated from the cosmic consciousness, as in multiple personality disorder. Furthermore, "because we also only have access to the “outside” across the dissociative boundary, we are unable to change the laws of nature, read other people’s minds, or bend a spoon with just our thoughts."

Unless, of course, you've seen through the 'dissociative boundary'. Then you can do magic. You can return bits of people's souls for them. You can change the weather. All with a bit of help, of course. (That's called English understatement.) Experience of the Spirit World - which is the cosmic consciousness - gradually dissolves the illusion. But the author doesn't seem to allow for this.

--------------------

I offer skype/FB video astrology readings, by donation. Contact: BWGoddard1 (at)aol.co.uk

---------------------

NB Please note the Free Email Subscribe button, top right of the page 😼

The Sweatlodge

The Sweatlodge is for me probably the fullest expression of what this Shamanic thing is about. You're sat there on the muddy ground, melted out of your mind and into your heart by the dark and the steam and the ceremony; immersed in the 4 sacred Elements of Earth, Fire, Air and Water; and you're giving thanks, along with the community of people around you, for all the good things in your life; and praying for the things that need fixing. 

Shamanism is an earth-path; it is not about ascension; it is about remembering that we belong to Mother Earth, that there is no part of us that does not belong to her, and that she will take care of us, just as she takes care of all of life. From this remembering and gratitude and prayer, all else flows. Life works, life is in balance.

On Waiting for 4 Days

There is a Native American saying that if you are asked to make a decision on something, you should take 4 days over it. I find this difficult. I am 60 now, and I am still hot-headed like a teenager. I want to decide NOW, even if it makes no difference to leave it for a while, and I find it painful to have to wait. 

But, of course, waiting leaves time to think things over and dream on it and let the unconscious do its work. Because, as I find when I pray for things, the outcome is often not what I expect: Spirit has the fuller picture. My mind does not know as much as it thinks it does.

On Gurus and Finding the Gold Within

I've just watched a great documentary series on netflix: Wild, Wild Country. It is the story of Rajneesh and his followers in Oregon in the 80s. A cult that went wrong, bigtime. They created a city in the wilderness, took over the local town, and ended up with a huge arsenal of weaponry; there were also incidents of poisoning and attempted murder against their enemies. Of which there were plenty. They attracted huge national opposition.

Fundamental to this story is the propensity that I think we all have, or have had, to idealise teachers. There is plenty of it in the shamanic world. And I think it is normal to do so. We come staggering along, maybe confident and competent in a worldly sense, but with little idea of who we are on a deeper level. That is not something we are taught :) And so we project all that good stuff onto a teacher. I think it is a natural process. A good teacher does not need those projections, and does not create a 2-way street, a kind of love-in if you like, with the pupil. All teachers will claim they don't want followers, but it can be hard to resist the flattery of people thinking you have the answers. I think it's very difficult for a teacher not to slide into this one, at least some of the time.

THE 'LOVE-IN'

And I think a crucial point is finding that guide within ourselves. As I say, it is natural and necessary to seek it outside ourselves to start with. But then we have "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him!" A friend was telling me how at a certain point in his life his spirit guides, who had always been there for him, refused to help, that there was an important decision he had to make on his own.

In my 20s and 30s I was around a Buddhist set-up, and all it was about fundamentally was me finding what I call my 'metaphysical autonomy'. Once that happened - and it was like a deep eruption after many years preparation - it was all over, and I was on my shamanic way :)

One of the main people they interviewed for the Rajneesh series was the guy who had been their lawyer. He must be about 70, and 'the Bhagwan' is long dead. But this guy is still under the spell. He still describes 'the Bhagwan' as 'the master of masters' - like, how can you know that? Another person they interviewed, who went to jail for attempted murder, has broken the spell, but it took many years. This process can take a long time, and it may never happen in someone's lifetime. And it may be incremental. Few people can admit to giving power away to a teacher; we think we are autonomous when we are not. It is seen as 'faith' to put the teacher's judgement before one's own, and arrogance to do otherwise.

And it is about knowing that we have all the guidance we need within. It is not something we can will into being, and it is easy to kid ourselves. It is a profound psycho-spiritual event that is like finding gold. And even then we can dip in and out of it. The path then becomes about allowing the gold to take root, to permeate our being.

It also then becomes possible to know the shadow. With the Rajneeshis, all goodness was projected onto 'the Bhagwan', and all evil was projected onto those who opposed them. This is no different to Nazi Germany, where Hitler carried the ideals, and the Jews carried the shadow. And the Bhagwan was also divided in this way: when his senior disciple left, he publicly rounded on her and denounced her. She was now the enemy. It was immediate.

From The English Magic Tarot Deck

And I think it works something like this: when you live from your inner sense of guidance, you have all you need. You're not needing to prove anything to the world or to other people. Or at least, not to the same degree. So we become able to admit to our own weaknesses and vulnerabilities, because doing so does not take anything away from who we are. In fact, there is a sense of it adding to who we are, but not in an ego sense. 

The worldly path involves building a sense of ego, and this is seen as normal. It is why we admire people who are rich or famous or royal. Admit it: if a celebrity walked into the room, you'd feel differently to if a regular guy walked in. I know I would. And this way of seeing the world is often carried over into the 'spiritual' world, where people want to become a 'name'. It is certainly true of the shamanic world, where it has in places become normalised.

But it's all just vanity, and misses the point. When a Chippewa Cree teacher used to come and stay with me and run events, he refused this sort of self-promotion. He would limit himself to a factual description of his background and training, and didn't want himself put out on the internet. I can go with that. And the people still came.

--------------------

I offer skype/FB video astrology readings, by donation. Contact: BWGoddard1 (at)aol.co.uk

---------------------

NB Please note the Free Email Subscribe button, top right of the page 😼