CALLING ALL WORKSHOP JUNKIES 🙂

Something about attending workshops. Something I want to say about yeah, do them, but don't underestimate your ability to do it yourself, to make your own connections and run with them. Trust the guidance from within. That is what we are here to do. Particularly if you are starting to get on in years.

I have to say that in my experience, the majority of workshops are run by people who on the one hand do have something to offer, but on the other hand are also wanting to build something for themselves. I don't like putting others down, it is not my nature. But I also say what I think, that is also my nature. And if the leader has something in it for themselves - and it may take a while to spot that - to that extent they will want you as an add-on, rather than just for who you are. 

 

I put my hands up, this is a theme I go on about a lot, one way or another. The way I work is that you won't get courses, you won't get certificates, you probably won't get a sense of belonging to a tribe (though you might meet a few new friends.) But you are welcome to hang out with me, virtually, or in this reality, as and when, at no charge. We will talk about the stuff that matters, that gives our lives meaning. All against a back drop of the shamanic paradigm, of that sense that the universe is alive and we are part of that. If you visit me in this reality, maybe we'll go visit the fairies and the spirits too.

 

Experientially, that is where I start and end. I don't have 'teachings', I don't have lineages and initiations to offer. I have plenty to say, so much so that I have written books, but it circles around that central paradigm of a living universe, and around being true to who we are. That is all that matters. It is informal. You won't get a qualification. But you are welcome. I try to roll with whatever is happening.

ME, MY DAD AND MY POWER

I have my Dad on my mind a lot. He died 7 years ago. He was a powerful guy. What he wanted, he could make happen. If he wanted money, he would make it happen. He had many friends. He was good at everything he turned his hand to. He was always looking upwards financially and socially, and even in his 80s wanted to go higher. He had social skills, and made friends who were richer than he was, and was proud of that. He was not happy to die. He wanted to keep playing.

But I spent my life keeping my distance. I have a different kind of power than him, one he could not recognise. He wanted me to be like him, which I could never be. So for me, the distance was about survival. And it has taken me a long time to recognise the power he had, for as a young person it was a threat to my own. But it has been with me insistently of late.

In a way, power is power. What you use it for is another thing. For my Dad, it was to build a place in the world that was above other people. An ego thing, and that is very normal. I try not to judge that nowadays. In fact, in my mid 50s I decided to let him just be, not to want him to be any different. That was magically transformational for me. I immediately became happier, more at ease with who I was.

So there is something: if you can let other people be who they are, you will be happier with who you are. This is something that vitiates the counter-culture, of which Shamanism seems to be a part: let those rich guys be who they are, let those politicians be who they are, do not stand in envious judgement over them, don't build fantasies of oppression. When you can do that, it becomes clear they have their own aspirations too, they are not 'bad'. And they do not have the power over you that you may imagine. The 'muddling through and cock-up' theory is the best model for how the world works.

But more importantly, you can rest in who you are, without being in judgement over yourself as to who you 'should' be. And that is where your real power lies. That will change you. But not many people seem able to do that. They feel more comfortable in the 'anti' mindset. Fair enough. These things take time.

But back to me and my power. Power is not a word I feel entirely comfortable with, due to its connotations of building oneself up. Whenever I have tried to do that, I have been foiled at every turn, for over 20 years now. I cannot advertise what I do, I cannot advertise events. They just do not happen, or at least hardly. Money and 'success' has to happen in other ways. That is a good thing.

Today I have given in to the Great Spirit. I have to do that now and again. I had been trying to buy somewhere different to live, to which people could come. A valid aspiration. In theory, I could do that. But it just causes me huge stress, and I lose myself. I would be on my own in the middle of nowhere, and I don't want to do that. I am too social. Loneliness would eat me alive. So I have dropped it, yet again. Huge relief. And I am back to where I naturally feel at home: approach me for some astrology or some shamanic work or just to talk and chew things over, and I will say yes. I love saying yes. I will try and be of help, it is what my life is about.

So this is the point that prompted this piece: just keep saying yes to where your spirit feels comfortable. That doesn't mean you won't get challenged, you will. We need to be, or we're not fully alive. And your life will be in the right place. It is hard for us humans to find that place of balance. It is what characterises us. Animals and plants know how to be what they are. That is why we look to them for guidance.

Your power probably lies in that place you've probably always known. It does not preen itself. It may involve going back to something you thought you'd left behind. What I learnt from my Dad is that he had power and I have power, that is why he was my Dad. But I try to serve my power, rather than own it. That is where we are different. I am not able to do what he did. He was a very clever guy, a notable guy. He showed me what power is. But power is something I have to yield to. And then I have everything, more than he ever had. The universe flows through me.

PSYCHEDELICS

A long interview with a psychedelics researcher from John Hopkins university. Academic research has begun again in recent years, after a 30 year moratorium, the establishment having been scared shitless by LSD etc. And, in a way, understandably so. Our constructed reality can unravel under the influence of psychedelics, which is horrifying if, like normal people, your existential security lies in the apparent solidity of this world.

Don't frighten the horses, that would seem to be the approach needed now. Fortunately there is no Timothy Leary telling everyone to turn on, tune in and drop out. Society will tolerate that which contravenes public reality as long as we do it skilfully.

One of my own experiences, aged 20, involved an early initiation into my shadow side. This was really difficult for me but, looking back, invaluable. It was what others would have called a 'bad trip', but I don't see it like that. Those experiences deepened me. It also took 3 years, after those intense months of mushrooming, before my feet landed fully back into this world.

I like to take LSD occasionally as an inspirational re-set. I have access to some DMT which I've yet to try, but it's apparently big on reality unravelling. I think psychedelics also have an initiatory role to play. I am a bit wary of their frequent use. One person who has spent a lot of time in the Amazon was telling me that traditionally the taking of Ayahuasca is seen as an early stage in the training that initiates you, but that the real work comes later. I agree with that.

I think that with over-frequent usage you are likely to get subtly or not so subtly stuck at a certain point. Our purpose on this earth IMO is to incarnate, to show up fully. Psychedelics, sweatlodges, shamanic journeys and ceremonies generally all bring inspiration and perspective, but they are not a place to identify with or to be lived in. Religion is when you start to identify with certain practices, and that is kind of a natural human thing to do. But this world and the spirit world are not different places. It can take many years to experience the spirit world around you in the midst of this world. But I think that is what we are here to do.

'EVERY POWER ANIMAL IS TERRIBLE'

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The words came to me the other day, that most people, if they encountered a power animal for real, would run a mile. What do I do with that? I'm sure I would have to include myself. When an experience is truly visionary, you do not know you are having it. It is just as real as this reality: there actually is a big cat standing in front of you. And it shouldn't be there!

I don't want to sound like a certain person that many of us know through Facebook, who likes to say that our modern shamanism has no power compared to indigenous traditions. And he, naturally, is the authority on it, and the channel to it. It's a power trip, and he attracts disciples seeking the authority and certainty he provides.

Unfortunately, there is a partial truth in it. Here we go: I think it is equally true of most indigenous people, that they would also run a mile if they had a full-on encounter with a power animal. Phew, got there.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead similarly describes how normal humans shy away from the white light of reality after they have died, and flee in terror to their next body. Again, it is a religious power trip, a way of controlling the masses through fear. It is saying we are born out of fear, rather than for the beautiful experience of being on the earth, which is the more indigenous attitude. But it also contains the same half-truth, for what are power animals if not intermediaries between ourselves and the Great Spirit? As the poet Rilke said, “Every angel is terrible”. And as T.S. Eliot said, “Humankind cannot bear very much reality”. Marianne Williamson: “It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

 

It's a glass half-empty, glass half-full thing. I am glass half-full, I want people to feel they can do this thing. It begins by being open to yourself and to truth in all its forms. Humans believe what they want to believe, about themselves and about the world. If you can be agnostic, more than that, dwell in the Great Mystery of things, and let the truth be what it is - and it is a fluid, complex thing - then you may encounter a power animal in its full reality, instead of a helpful reflection, who may do a few good things, but you're not going to deeply heal anyone, it'll just be bits and pieces. If you are building an identity, a name around being some kind of shamanic practitioner or teacher, then that is the opposite of what I am talking about, you are creating an ego-barrier between yourself and the free flow of Spirit.

That said, the most unlikely, dysfunctional people can have superpowers. The Native American Chipps family was well-known for this, a bunch of thieves and alcoholics whose head guy would switch into being a powerful healer when called upon. But the long-term path of truthfulness to yourself and to your spirits is definitely the way to go, without any thought of the healing powers or reputation that might accrue.

Your body knows, it has animal power and knowing. We humans are traditionally the new-born ones, because we do not know who we are, we are afraid of who we are. Animals know who they are. In this sense they are aligned with the Great Spirit in ways we are not. So we can learn from animals. Hence Power Animals. And Power Plants.

Core Shamanism is perfect if you want to keep it safe. I know one teacher who adds in all sorts of protections before you visit the Spiritworld. It amounts to a way of controlling his disciples by appealing to their fear of the unknown, and making it seem like the 'responsible' thing to do. Nonsense. The Spiritworld is to be trusted, deeply and wholeheartedly. That is where the real power lies. 

This teacher also plays the 'I'm super-intuitive' game, so you'd better believe him, because it comes from 'Spirit'. 'Intuition' does not give you a special pass into the Spiritworld. Apart from the fact that what you say is unverifiable by ordinary means, all temperaments have their equally powerful connections to Spirit. You may be a 'thing' person, or an ideas person. Or you may be illuminated by Spirit by direct transmission, by 'intuition'. That has much value, and you can feel the weight of it when it is genuine. But it is not a free pass. It can be, needs to be, subject to evaluation by others. This, in my experience, is not taught in our courses. It needs to be. Intuition is a subtle art. It is objective in nature, but unexamined is easily a conduit for personal bias and emotion.

I have a theory about Michael Harner, the originator of 'core' shamanism, as if there is such a thing. There can be no method that is core, because shamanism is an inner thing, it is essentially about being true to ourselves and to the spirits that guide the wider course of our lives. Be that as it may, Harner's formative experiences were under Ayahuasca, amongst the Amazon peoples. And the shamans there (see 'The Spears of Twilight' by Philippe D'Escola) are well known for sending black magic each other’s way on a regular basis, to a degree I have not read about elsewhere. Maybe there is an extra level of paranoia issuing from the regular ingestion of Ayahuasca, whatever its other benefits may be. My view is that psychotropics are an initiation, and that the real, unglamorous work comes later. Treating psychotropics as foundational, rather than as an occasional inspirational reset, leads to imbalance, and to a vulnerability to entities that do not mean you well. So Harner comes from a tradition in which you'd better protect yourself, cos there are dark entities and a jealous shamanic mafia out there. This does, incidentally, drive home the point not to idealise indigenous people. They are just like us.

 

So the possibly slightly paranoid indigenous tradition that Harner comes from, issuing from the overuse of psychotropic drugs, has influenced the emphasis he places on protection in the Spiritworld. We do not live in a culture where such a level of protection is necessary, and it comes at a price, which is that wholehearted trust in the Spiritworld, which in a way we have as children, and need to re-learn in a less naive way as adults. Anyway, it's just a theory about Harner, I may be completely wrong.

An experience of a power animal can take many forms. It may not be obvious. It may be the hidden power behind an idea, such as when I am writing my fantasy shapeshifting novel, which seems to have a wolf presiding. It may be a general sense of something guiding your life, which may have the raw, direct visceral quality that typifies a power animal.

And it may be present very directly, very fully, in doing healing work. This is where I particularly relate to the idea of power animals as something we might shy away from. There seem to be ways in which I seem to be quite deeply open to myself/the spirits, I am not hiding behind some kind of identity as a shamanic teacher. That has never worked for me if I have tried (thank you, universe.) The way I work is by embodying and surrendering to whatever it is that wants to show up. I Shapeshift. I do not need a name for the spirit, and often it is others who tell me what they experienced - a woman, a bear, a dinosaur, whatever. In a way it doesn't matter, but I also honour whatever those presences are. They come from a deep, direct, raw place in me: my root chakra, if you like. They may be a very delicate feminine presence, they may be a roaring beast, while often expressively vocalising in an unknown tongue.

 

When I work in this way, it is like a good actor on stage: people experience the presence of what is living through me. Deep and tangible healings seem to happen, they may take a while, but they address long-term underlying issues. I am trying not to be boastful, I am trying to say that when you embody the spirits, and you have been at the coal-face of who you are for enough years, then the Great Spirit has a more open channel through which to work. There are no shortcuts, no shamanic trainings. I am not saying at all this doesn't happen for other healers, of course it does. But it can also be that little happens, it is not the real deal, but we're not supposed to say so. Well I am saying so. I can often tell: this person has all the certificates, but they do not have a deep relationship with themselves, the power is not there. There is a degree of fakery to what they are offering. These things need saying.

 

So the way I work takes me over. It has the presence of a good actor channeling a character. I am fully present, yet surrendered to the spirit. This is how the Siberian shamans work. The power of it is natural and free flowing, and of a different order to that which 'core' shamanism teaches. This is quite a claim to make. Maybe some will see it as arrogant or judgemental. But it is the truth of the matter. And it does not preclude people experiencing that sort of spirit presence and power within, or maybe despite, the 'core' shamanic paradigm.

And it is why some people might run a mile from a real power animal. It is what happened around me a couple of months ago. Some people found the way I worked 'wrong' or 'sexual' or they could not look at me. They were all people who had been indoctrinated with the teaching of needing lots of protection in the Spiritworld. Lots of fear. It goes back to Harner. 

Let's look to Siberia instead. And let's look above all to ourselves and to our Spirits with courage and honesty. Let's not listen to the voices of disempowerment in whatever form. We can do this. It is the point of this Shamanic path. We need to bust out of Shamanism as religion, those little cults of personality that spring up all over - and which do provide a necessary starting point for many of us - and trust that voice within, that we maybe think is wrong, because it disagrees with the teacher; it is maybe undisciplined and 'lazy', but it is where our yearnings are. It is the tantalising voice of our soul, which keeps coming back. And it guides us, if we have the courage, and the chutzpah to ignore others, especially some 'elders', into something that is uniquely our own. That is what the Animals want for us. And that is why they are terrifying.

JOKE MEDICINE NAMES

You know that story about a guy in a village who fucked a goat, and he went on to become a national war-hero, but in the village they only ever remembered him as the guy who fucked a goat? There's something important about that. In indigenous communities you'll get a joke medicine name that refers to something comical that you once did, and they'll never let you forget it. It's probably mainly a bloke thing, it is how we keep each other from getting too inflated. So if you come to me with your fancy medicine name, I will immediately want to invent a joke one. I mean, you walk into the pub and announce you are now Dave Standing Elk, what are they going to do? They will laugh, they will tease you mercilessly, and quite right too. It is pretentious, it is a claim to spiritual status.

If you do have a medicine name, it is precious, it is between you and the spirits, it is not a proclamation to the world of who you are. You will disempower that connection. Stick to Dave. If others want to put you on a pedestal, that is their lookout. But you don't want the kind of loser around you who's going to take your pretensions seriously. My favourite joke medicine name is probably Two Dogs At-It.

BACK TO BASICS….

 I try to be honest around this Shamanism thing. It is not about any allegiance to a teacher or a book or a particular indigenous way, or about a recent tradition such as 'core' Shamanism. Shamanism is about being true to who we are as humans, in the most fundamental way possible: as beings with a body, who are part of the natural world, a natural world that is alive, inspirited. What could be more true than that? This is why I am a Shamanic guy: because it brings us back to what is most true about ourselves, a solid foundation on which to be human. It is about an experience, not an idea.

Shamanism has got a bit of a bad name because of the pretensions around it, the usual stuff of people imagining themselves to be teachers of something that they don’t really know, not on their pulses, but thinking they do. They are in a hurry to build an identity, a name, for themselves, which is exactly the wrong way to go about it. It shouldn’t be about personal ambition. It is something that needs to come towards you, not something you seek. Usually when you have quite a few years behind you. There are always plenty of people happy to put such teachers on a pedestal, and who am I to criticise, I did so myself when I was younger, and breaking free of it was an important part of my path. So maybe it is a necessary part of how things work?

When it comes to the 'Spiritworld' (an artificial, but maybe necessary, distinction from 'Thisworld') I am the first to say I have no clear idea of what it is that I am doing. In another way, I know very well what I am doing. But you have to feel and experience your way in, I can say nothing other than go there and trust it.

I get quite pissed-off with the aura of mystique that some so-called teachers create around the Spiritworld, like it's this dangerous place, and they will initiate you bit by bit, stringing it out over years, collecting their money along the way. And maybe claiming vicarious authority via some indigenous people they've been 'working' with. No, the Spiritworld is simple, yet deep, and it takes time, but your spirits will gradually take you there. 

I journey in an embodied way, and as far as I can see, it is the way that it is done in Siberia, where they dance it. It is the same territory, but in general more powerful (though not always) to our lying down and journeying method. Our 'core' way (which is quite a way from the true core, if there is one) is safe. It works for the majority, who want shamanism-as-religion. I don't want to be patronising, and maybe I am being, but damn it: there is a difference.

I don't want to say that indigenous people have the goods and we don't, which some people imply, and that is another power trip. We have the goods too, there is no doubt about that. Don't bow down to indigenous people. But to allow the spirits to course through your whole being, and to do healing work on that basis: well that requires a letting go, a freedom, on a deep level, and not many people are ready for that. It is something we move towards.

On a recent event I ran on 'Embodying the Spirits', a number of people found a demonstration of the way I work disturbing. It is not for everyone. Our Christian heritage, with its demonisation of the body, has not helped. That is why, as I said 'core' Shamanism is often the safe starting place.

As for other teachings, be it sweatlodge or pipe ceremony or ayahuasca ceremonies or vison quests or anything else, I say this: remember they are always a means to an end. Yes, approach them with respect, and understand the depth of symbolism and teachings within them. But we are not from those cultures. Our tradition-free culture has its downsides, but we also have the freedom, advisedly (once we have been at our own coal-face for a while), to be creative, to re-invent.

I am not part of the mainstream of how Shamanism works in our culture. Covid finally drove that point home to me. I am not an anti-vaxxer, I am not anti-establishment, as though being that constitutes some kind of 'insight'. No, Medicine people work with the secular leaders, not against them. They do not have the underlying attitude of mistrust and superiority towards authority that characterises the 'counter-culture' of the modern West, which I would venture to call childish. Nor are they partisan, favouring one political party over another. We try to be elders, seeing all points of view.

I find myself in the non-religious minority. I started this group (on Facebook, UK Shamanic Community), and I admin it. I love to be of service to people. I hope people feel free to express themselves here, outside of allegiance to any particular way of viewing Shamanism. I will say if I don't agree, but it will never be personal. I hope I won't come across too much as trying to define what Shamanism is and isn't. I want to be on the side of keeping it open.

I could give up on 'Shamanism'. I sometimes wonder if I should. But dammit, there is always that minority of genuine seekers who can't stand the BS any more than I can, and I will never give up on my connection with you. You are my tribe. Come and visit me in Devon, or let's talk on Zoom.

CAN INDIGENOUS TRADITIONS BE OUT OF BALANCE?

For the last month or two particularly, but really for the last twenty years, I've been sitting and pondering with the way I do healing work. I don't do much of it. Someone said to me recently that you need to do healing full-time to become good at it, and that accords with the indigenous tradition he is exposed to. I can only think there is something imbalanced in that tradition. Maybe that is the kind of thought we don't think very often, but when you look at the major traditions like Christianity and Islam and Buddhism, it's not exactly difficult to find things they've got wrong, particularly on an institutional level. So why wouldn't it be the same with some indigenous traditions?

I have encountered indigenous fundamentalism plenty, and why wouldn't I, because humans are humans wherever you go? Often we seek simple certainties, and justify it with terms like 'tradition' and 'lineage' and 'elders', when what we really mean is 'authority'. Let's be specific, these guys who think you need to be a healer full-time to be the real deal are Huichols, from Mexico.. Just for the sake of discussion. Maybe this guy has misunderstood, though I doubt that. Maybe there is machismo involved: machismo is a perennial male thing of which I know Indians are capable. Amongst the Chippewa Cree, I have been told, some of the men will lead one sweatlodge after another, without a break, to prove they can, until they can do no more. And, of course, to do that is to miss the point. I was around one of them, he certainly knew his stuff, but he would regularly drive himself to the point of exhaustion. Quite unnecessarily, in my opinion.

When I've done some astrology, or some serious talking with someone, or some healing work in which something shifts profoundly, I need time and space afterwards to re-group and rest. Such work draws deeply on me. I love it, it moves me to tears, it provides a central meaning to my life. Beyond the immediate need to rest, I can only average a few such encounters a week, at most. They change me, such work goes deep, it continually expands who I am and what I can do. Of course I can go the extra mile if necessary and do a whole bunch at once, like I have done at festivals in the past, but after that I may not be fit for much for a week afterwards.

There is also the need to live a regular life in this world to stay balanced. This is my main point of contention. From what I have read, healers/shamans usually lead regular lives on top of their calling. They have to earn a living, they probably have a family. They are not Catholic priests. We all know where that kind of one-sidedness leads. Spiritual bypass, in a word. The ego-identification with a spiritual calling, and our regular humanity being channeled down twisted pathways. I cannot think of anyone who has set themselves up as a teacher/healer as their main thing when young, say 30s or 40s, for whom it hasn't become an ego-building thing, and that doesn't seem to change as they get older. This twists everything.

We need ordinary life, because we are here to incarnate, not to transcend. For us, this is the great medicine of shamanism: it is an earth path, the sacred is to be found in the natural world, not somewhere else. We humans are nothing but the natural world, not something beyond.

So do not treat this healer calling as a profession, it is something we do as and when, as Spirit sends people our way. It is to be quietly cherished. Trust whoever turns up, and trust it when no-one is turning up. I ended up talking about something different to what I intended, more on the way I do healing work next time. But I trust what I end up writing about.